HAVOCA Home

Frequently Asked Questions

"How long are you going to allow your abusers and your past to control your life?"

Every day that you work on freeing yourself of the chains of your past is one day closer to wholeness. Healing takes as long as it takes. There are some factors involved such as:

• How old you were when you were abused
• Who the abuser(s) were (father, mother, brother, sister, uncle, friend, stranger)
• How long did the abuse continue
• Were your parents or other important people in your life supportive
• Were you believed
• Did you repress the abuse or parts of it
• How long till you began recovery
• How much support do you have now
• Is your spouse, or those closest to you, supportive
• Are you still a victim of some kind of abuse (spousal abuse)
• Do you have addictions to drugs or alcohol

I think you can see from this list just off the top of my head that there are factors involved that can either help you in your endeavor to heal, or fight against you. I believe one important rule for all survivors to do is not compare ourselves to anyone else. We are all unique and it really doesn't matter how long it takes us to heal. What matters is that we begin the journey. And in reality, healing will take a lifetime. Even when you have walked through the major steps of healing, there is always going to be areas to grow in. That is true for everyone, abused or not.