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I was raped when I was 25 years old. For a long
time, I spoke about the rape on an intellectual level,
as though it was something that happened to someone
else. I was very aware that it had happened to me, but
there just was no feeling. I kind of skidded along for
a while.
"I started having flashbacks. They kind of
came over me like a splash of water. I would be
terrified. Suddenly I was reliving the rape. Every
instant was startling. I felt like my entire head was
moving a bit, shaking, but that wasn't so at all. I
would get very flushed or a very dry mouth and my
breathing changed. I was held in suspension. I wasn't
aware of the cushion on the chair that I was sitting
in or that my arm was touching a piece of furniture. I
was in a bubble, just kind of floating. And it was
scary. Having a flashback can wring you out. You're
really shaken.
"The rape happened the week before Christmas,
and I feel like a werewolf around the anniversary
date. I can't believe the transformation into anxiety
and fear."
Does this story sound familiar? Can you
relate to any part of this scenario? If you can
you may be suffering from PTSD.
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