HEALING TEARS

 

 

Forward by Cheryl:

 

This second letter was written by John, an adult survivor of sexual abuse. I thank him for sharing his thoughts and feelings once again. Through sharing, we can truly learn what’s in the hearts of other survivors and hopefully learn through their experiences.

 

 

 

Your Letter

 

 

Dear Cheryl,

 

It really was good to hear from you. I have been reading and reflecting on your words of experience, wisdom and encouragement on the web site. You certainly have a way with words and are a gifted writer. I had to scan-read some of the material - could be that I’m not ready for it yet. I trigger quite easily. Yet I do believe that healing can also be triggered! Healing, in my opinion, can be a very overwhelming experience. I need to make space and take time to allow healing to take place. Time and space to adapt to the good things that are taking place within me. I have rarely been able to shed a tear. When that did happen, they were tears of distress. Warm tears are gently making their way down my face at this moment. These are healing tears which are an expression of my gratitude for the help I am now receiving. If this is healing, then I do like it. Just keep doing for others, what you are doing for me, please.

 

Yours Sincerely, John

 

 

 

My Response Letter

 

 

 

Dearest John,

 

Thank you so much for your expression of kindness due to my writing you. Your confession of tears truly touched my heart. Sharing such a personal moment will always be appreciated.

 

I’m pleased you have been reading my writings on the Havoca site. I enjoy writing for Jamie’s site. I’ve come to know him as a friend. In fact, “Dearest Friend” was written to Jamie, it was my first submission. Jamie wrote me long ago and shared his life, and in turn, I shared with him my own. Since then, I’ve submitted frequently, and I’ll continue to do so as time allows.

 

However, sometimes I wonder if I make sense, if I’m giving proper advice to survivor friends. I never know what I’m going to say once I start, it just comes. Your initial letter really made me do some thinking. I had to put a lot of thought into what I wanted to say to you. To do this, I had to reflect on my own life as well. You brought up a lot of interesting issues that needed addressing on both our parts.

 

I'm not sure if we ever fully heal from the after-affects of child abuse. There will always be moments in our lives when our pasts come back to haunt us. But the most important thing is to stay focused and remember the positive part of our lives; what we've overcome, where we are today. There's a lot to be proud of. With time to reflect, and space to heal, we can begin to understand who we really are; true survivors. We've overcome insurmountable odds, carrying more strength and courage than we realize. If we use these strengths in our everyday lives, we can succeed in anything. There's nothing we can't do.

 

My strength is writing. Being a survivor, I try to write what comes from within. I read letters sent to me, I absorb them, think them through, and then I begin to write. The rest just comes. Most times I am overwhelmed after I’m finished. I truly wonder where it all comes from. I suppose I shouldn't question it. I should just enjoy writing and helping others. It fills me inside, gives me a sense of peace.

 

I loved your term, healing tears. Tears show strength and courage. It means you are facing your history of abuse. Let those warm tears continue flowing; let their release heal you inside. John, I want to share a paragraph I wrote to another survivor. It goes like this.

 

Crying is the healthiest thing you can do. It releases your pain, cleanses the soul so to speak. It doesn't mean you're not strong if you cry. It means you have courage. Tears are a part of life. If you feel the urge to cry, let your tears flow, let them come. It will do you a world of good. Crying means you are letting go, you are releasing your pain in a healthy way. Crying shows inner-strength, because facing your fear isn't always easy. Talking, sharing what's deep inside, takes courage. If tears are a part of sharing your courage, then so be it. Have the courage to cry. Don’t hide your tears, don’t stop them. You must cry oceans before they become streams.

 

Remember, healing is important and its imperative survivors keep sharing with each other. Through our sharing, we come to understand so much about ourselves. I’m glad my letter to you triggered healing tears. Again, I’m so touched. It’s nice to know that my words of encouragement affected you in a positive way.

 

Again, thank you for your praise on my writing. I cherish my gift and will continue to write always. There is a reason for all gifts given to us, and I think the reason for mine is doing this. Writing to survivors like you gives me such satisfaction. Each time I write, I’ve helped someone. It feels good. I’ve also learn more about myself in sharing with others. It forces me to reflect on my own life, and in doing so, helps me heal. I still have a long way to go, but that’s okay. I have a lifetime to become the best I can be.

 

In closing, I wish you the best as you continue your journey in life. Stay focused, stay strong, you are a survivor. Be proud of who you are.

 

Take care John,

 

Lotsa Hugs, Cheryl