10 May 2006
Help for Adult Victims Of Child Abuse.
A non-profit making organisation based in the UK dedicated to provide help, support and information to any adult who is suffering from past childhood abuse.
Making a Journal
A journal is a book where you can write personal details and feelings down. It can be any size, any shape and any colour. It is important that it remains totally confidential and you have total control over it. Only show it to people who you trust or keep it private.
Write down your experiences in detail. Write down everything you remember about the abuse. Every last detail - this will be very painful but will help with breaking your denial process.
Obtain a photograph of yourself at the age you were when you were abused. Stick it into the journal. Write about the little person in the photograph, describe how you look, concentrating on your physical appearance; how small you are, how immature you look.
Obtain a photograph of the person who abused you. Do the same, describe how he/she looks. This may be very difficult but do your best - if you can't do it then try the next part of the exercise. Write about the difference between the first photo and the second. Concentrate on the physical differences between the two of you. Notice how small and vulnerable you were. Write underneath: 'I was abused by name.'
Re read exercise one, read it out aloud. Write down how you feel whilst you read it. Concentrate on your emotions and try and write why you think you are feeling these things. List the emotions you experience in a simple list format.
Make this list as long as you like, it will form the basics of future exercises.
Write out a list (more lists I'm afraid) of all the things you have lost as a result of the abuse.
self respect etc.
Write an imaginary letter as a third party to yourself. Imagining you are an adult writing to the child who was abused. Explain how you don't deserve what happened to you, the feelings you felt were right and apologise to yourself for the things the abuse has taken away from you.
Write a letter to your abuser, again as a third party, say what ever comes to mind. Try not to get hateful, be constructive and allow your anger to get through.
Re write the list in exercise four, relate each feeling to an occasion that happened recently and then do the same to a situation in your childhood. Compare the two situations and state which one was worse and why. Describe how your feelings today could have been affected by your experiences in your past.
In what ways have you denied your (or your loved one's) abuse? How has this denial been helpful? How has it hurt you?
Try drawing yourself and your abuser - what do these pictures tell you about yourself?
What are some significant things you have lost because of your (your loved one's) abuse? what can you do as an adult to experience some of those things now? What have you lost that you can never regain?