Poll - Survivor Meetings

[Jamie]

Would you go to survivor meeting?

What factors made you decide on your answer and how would it make you feel?

If you said Yes, what conditions applied (i.e. Yes, only if there was a qualified counsellor present etc)

[Tristessa]

Hi Jamie

Never done any group therapy or group meetings but would like to explore the idea of a survivor meeting mainly because I am open to try any approach that may be beneficial to me.
Do think that a qualified practiioner should be there, though, as I feel the process would need to be carefully and professuionally managed.

Tristessa

[Phillykins]

I said yes because I think it would be great to have support in real life. I'd be willing to try it at least, maybe bring someone along with me the first few times. Couldn't hurt to give it a go.

PK x

[Carrie]

I would like to try it but can't seem to track down any. The Americans seem to do this sort of thing much more.
I don't personally have an issue with a mixed sex group, but obviously that is very personal & depends on circumstances.

I think it should be managed by a professional really.

Carrie x

[Pepito]

Jamie,

yes I would like to go to a survivor meeting but only if there was a qualified counselor present.

Pepito

[charlies angel]

i said no because to me its still something i feel very anxious about putting a face or identity to and i still have issues even accepting it. judgement, bla bla

hmmm no, not for me - far too scary.

[Sigma]

I said yes primarily due to the fact that the NHS lodge I keep going on about (sorry) is a therapeutic community-and is all group work.

Different groups - ranging from five days a week to a couple of hours. But the group is moderated or facilitated by therapists and occupational therapists. There are rules and we all sign up for them when we agree to go along. 18 months commitment for one ...but also confidentiality, no contact outside of the group ...text yes but it goes via a central number and all members receive the message.

I found it quite daunting ...but I see the benefits.

X x x

[Sigma]

Sorry just realised you said "meeting"

I would go along....depends on the capacity of the meeting really. As in a support group or a "meeting" as in ...with perhaps keynote speakers etc. I am thinking meeting as in conference !

X x x

[chris12]

Yes I would go to survivors meetings or mutual support group. I would prefer some of the meetings to be specific to males and some mixed and some meetings to be themed to discuss specific issues.. There is a group that meets but is an hours drive away from me , thats the nearest I have found to me, they meet once a month.There is another support group nearer but it only accepts 18- to 25yr olds.
chris12

[starshinesometimes]

Yes, I think its useful to be able to talk to as many people as possible, it would be more difficult face to face but I think I'd get more out of it than being online.
I used to think I wouldn't go as I latch on to other peoples pain but i feel strong enough now, that I wouldn't do that and be able to feel my own pain without taking on others. I also used to think that I wouldn't like it as I felt my abuse wasn't as bad as others, I used to minimalise it basically, but now I know that it doesn't matter what happened, its how its affected you and made you feel that matters. I feel I'd have a lot to bring to a group.
I suppose a trained therapist would be ideal, but Id also like someone like they have in AA, someone who has been through what you've been through so they wouldn't neccessarily be a trained professional, just trained enough to counsel that kind of meeting.

[Elise]

I feel ashamed of myself for saying it but I've had to vote no. I think it's a great idea......but not for me. Not now anyway. I can feel myself beginning to panic even at the thought of it. Huge respect to those who would/could go.

I have never been able to say aloud what happened to me. I managed to talk a little on line to the Samaritans about 4 years ago, but couldn't lift the phone and do it.....way too scary. Posting my story here was a relief in part, getting it "out there" and people still "talking" to me, not judging me as I judge myself......and I was able to let my partner read what I'd posted, so he knows more than "I was hurt but can't talk about it".

I guess I'm still stuck largely at "victim".....but I'm terrified to say any of it in front of another living soul......can't even talk to my dog about it, I've tried!! Weird I know..... Couldn't even get the words out to my dog.

Ok I'm gonna stop now cos I'm winding myself up into a full blown panic.

Sorry

Elise xxx

[Sigma]

Ah don't feel ashamed....it's really, really hard to talk - big time difficult

X x x

[charlies angel]

I feel ashamed of myself for saying it but I've had to vote no.

ah hey elise, no need to be ashamed of expressing how you feel. I voted no too. it's horses for courses and it is all very dependent on your place in your own journey apart from your personality.

I am the same in never having said what happened. Not properly even with c and a lot is to do with judgement, limelight, publicness...

As for the dog it isnt about who the words are to i dont think - it's them being released out of our own minds into the air.

And actually - i said something to my c ages ago about it - it is that if other people say things i can ignore, i can shut my ears off and hear but not hear. However, if i have said it, my brain has gone sent the necessary images, words etc through the sausage machine of my brain to then be verbalised out of my mouth. I cannot 'not' hear me. I am the only one who i cannot ignore or can pretend to have not heard after i have spoken... simply because that is the way we are wired. in order for it to come out our mouths, it has to come through our conscience and for that, we need to accept... and that has been held back and i guess what we are learning to do at some point through c.

So dont go beating yourself that you havent said it 'even to the dog' - its more you havent said it to yourself.... yet... but you will.. I know we all will get there at some point.

Take care of you Elise and be proud to feel however you feel. I will be with you in the 'no' pile.
CA x

[hunny]

I really struggle with face to face meetings and am amazingly shy in real life , so a meeting would be pretty hard for me , but if I knew someone there I might be able to go .There is a huge part of me that would like to go and meet others face to face , but my confidence would limit me a bit
Hunny xx

[fighting spirit]

I've voted no as well. My ex T asked me if I'd consider going to a group meeting.
I said yes and then went home and panicked.
The very thought fills me with horror !
She said if I reconsider in the future I can get in touch with her.

xx