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| Introduction
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Sexual attitudes are formed very early
on in childhood. Abuse has almost definitely affected the
way you feel about sex, which in turn determines your sexual behaviour. There is a high correlation between abuse as a
child, especially sexual abuse, and adult sexual violence and
dysfunction. Therefore it is critical that this issue be
explored during your healing journey. Even on the smaller
scale, any type of abuse can lead to problems in the bedroom
department.
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| Your attitudes and feelings about
sex are formed by subtle and overt messages you received by your
family. If your parents banned any talk of sex in your
household then you may develop an aversion to sex. If sex
was used to control a member of your family you may develop the
same tendencies. If you were sexually abused as a child you
may consider sex with minors as acceptable. Some adults use
sex with minors as a form of control and dominance - it is not
necessarily a sexual impulse. |
| Men in particular transmit their
feelings through sexual intimacy, women prefer to talk and spend
time with a loved one. This difference is probably the
reason why most offenders are men. This doesn't mean women
don't abuse, the number of cases are just fewer. The abuse,
whether committed by a man or a woman, causes exactly the same
about of mental damage to a young child. It is much harder
for a man to admit to abuse that has been perpetrated by a woman.
How many times have you read about a female teacher having sex
with a young boy in her class? What is your initial
reaction? I would be prepared to bet most of the males
reading this would think the boy was actually quite lucky!!
This is obviously very wrong, if you reverse the situation, i.e.,
a male teacher had sex with a young girl in his class, hopefully
you can see the home truth. |
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Many abused children grow up to
hold deep scars about their sexual lives. In particular they
may feel angry, frightened, or confused during sex. There
are a whole range of symptoms that can stem from a heighten sexual
awareness during a person's early years. The bottom line,
get help. If you feel you have a sexual dysfunction or a
sexual - desire problem then reach out for help. These
problems rarely disappear on their own. We have a section on
choosing a therapist which might be
helpful or you can look at our links page
for more advice.
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More commonly, abused children find
it hard to form lasting, loving and intimate relationships as they
mature into adult life this section helps you explore ways in
which you can explore your sexual issues. In particular the Sexual
Events Inventory will guide you through these issues with a
simple questionnaire. There are no right or wrong answers
and no embarrassing evaluations, you simply tick the answers that
apply to you and use the explanations to guide you through the
process. Other sections
help you deal with further relationship problems, the Partner's
Section is for loved ones of survivors and then there is a
general Relationship Section for
both elements of the team!
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Use
the links on the left to navigate through this
section.
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