Follow up session: My therapy full stop

Follow up session: My therapy full stop I usually read out my journal entries at the beginning of therapy sessions, which leads to a deeper level of reflective thinking (in my safe place). This in turn, leads to the type of connective conversations that I have found invaluable throughout the … Continue reading

Life After Therapy

Life after therapy The first part of this piece, contains extracts taken from journal entries, because I think they accurately depict the state of mind I had from day to day, after therapy initially ended. I really wanted to capture how I was feeling at the time in this piece, … Continue reading

The End of Therapy

The End of Therapy Thinking of the end: I have learnt, faced and remembered so much since I started therapy. I have spent hours talking, processing and writing about all of this crap, sharing some of it publicly. I have found a little bit of purpose, and sourced some courage … Continue reading

Positive Self Regard

Positive self regard Finding purpose I met Tanya (yes same name) through the school my children go to and at the time, Tanya also had children in the same school. None of our children (7 between us) were in the same classes, but Tanya and I, were both pregnant with … Continue reading

My self-destruct button and I

My self-destruct button and I Origin of self harming behaviour I have always had an “all or nothing” type nature and a bit of a competitive streak. I’m not sure if this originates, from simply having siblings, or whether this is an inherent feature. (Is it because of nature or … Continue reading

What has therapy been about for me?

What has therapy been about for me? What I wanted to get out of therapy My therapist asked me what I wanted to get out of our sessions in week one, but I left without telling her what I really wanted to gain from our time together. I was so … Continue reading

The Child Within

The Child Within I became aware of this hurt, scared, lost little child in a therapy session several weeks ago and although more than a little freaked out, I recognised her instantly. She was me; little me; my inner child; and I know this because I whole heartedly and heartbreakingly … Continue reading

Breaking down the walls

Breaking down the walls In order to protect the self, many people talk about an imaginary, impenetrable wall, that they build from the inside out. It is a very clear image of something strong and weather-able, which is designed to keep safety and calm within, and perceived threat and chaos … Continue reading

There will always be triggers

There will always be triggers It took a long time, meeting the right people and building up the correct support network, for me to feel ready enough, to start my recovery journey. I slowly began to trust and to feel safe, which lead to disclosure and many memories being unlocked. … Continue reading

Parenting – The struggle of raising children after abuse

Parenting – The struggle of raising children after abuse There is no getting away from the shame I feel for making my next statement, but having children completely and utterly messed my head up, even more than it was already. For as long as I can remember, I knew that … Continue reading