The 4Fs: A Trauma Typology in Complex PTSD

The 4Fs: A Trauma Typology in Complex PTSD By Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy (pete-walker.com) This paper describes a trauma typology for differentially diagnosing and treating Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This model elaborates four basic defensive structures that develop out of our instinctive Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn responses to … Continue reading

HAVOCA 20th Anniversary

HAVOCA 20th Anniversary HAVOCA has now been online for nearly 20 years!! Our Trustee, Jamie Harms, started HAVOCA back in July 2001 as a way to provide support to other survivors of child abuse.  Initially conceived as a portal for survivors to find services and information that didn’t alienate them, … Continue reading

A New Chapter

A New Chapter How Brave Are You?   Brené Brown writes, “Owning your story and loving yourself through the process is the bravest thing you will ever do.” But the quote that is often left out is what she says after, “and further, it allows us to write a new ending.” So, … Continue reading

Surviving the Holiday Season as a Survivor

Surviving the Holiday Season as a Survivor

The holiday season can be a terrible time for survivors of abuse.  TV scenes, family gatherings and pictures of joy and happiness, plastered all over social media can be the catalyst for memories and flashbacks that haunt victims of abuse.  It is understandable that survivor’s feelings are heightened during this period.  As a very high proportion of abuse occurs within the family unit it is hardly surprising that times that bring families together, are the times that generate the most pain for Survivors. Continue reading

Harming Your Child by Making Him Your Parent

Harming Your Child by Making Him Your Parent A very subtle way to create damage in your child is to turn that child into your parent. This process is called parentification, not to be confused with parenting. Parentification can be defined as a role reversal between parent and child. A child’s … Continue reading

The Role Gaming Plays In Therapy 

The Role Gaming Plays In Therapy One of the major changes in the way we view the role games play in our lives was the study done on those who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It found that visuospatial video games interfere with flashbacks. The study divided the test … Continue reading

Advice and rhetorical questions

Advice and rhetorical questions: Giving and receiving I have found, through my own experience and from reading many posts on the forum, that making the life changing choice to heal and move towards recovery, is a massively scary decision. It requires a careful and delicate balance of safety, trust and … Continue reading

“Suicide is Selfish” – the Myth.

“Suicide is Selfish” – the Myth. I am a survivor of suicide. It still feels strange making that statement. I went on a ‘Care of the Trainee’ course with the Royal Air Force, and no, that isn’t why I attempted suicide! During the course one of the topics for discussion … Continue reading

Consensual sex after abuse

Consensual sex after abuse I find it surprising, that sex has never really been an issue or a problem for me; you would think that following a childhood, littered with harrowing sexual abuse, that there may be some issues regarding consensual sex, as an adult. Up until a year ago, … Continue reading

Safety, Trust and Control

Safety, Trust and Control I was ready to tap into my trapped emotion in order to release it, when I finally embarked into therapy. I wanted to get to a place where everyday triggers did not effect me in such a big way. I wanted to be in a place … Continue reading