These guidelines set out the shared responsibilities we all hold as members of HAVOCA. They help keep the forum safe, respectful, and supportive for every survivor and visitor. We ask everyone to follow them so the board can continue to run smoothly and remain the compassionate space it’s meant to be.

1. Rules

   1. Respect and Conduct

      1. Be civil and respectful. #
      2. No personal attacks, insults, harassment, bullying, flaming, or threats. #
      3. Respect other members’ stated boundaries. #
      4. No bigotry, discrimination, or stereotyping. #

   2. Safety‑Critical Content

      1. No threats, plans, instructions, or descriptions of self‑harm or suicide actions outside the designated Self Harm/Suicide Forum. #
      2. No content about perpetrating child abuse or making allegations about others. (Talking about your own childhood abuse is allowed.) #
      3. No illegal, harmful, or deceptive activity (scamming, phishing, impersonation, fraud, etc.). #

   3. Privacy & Confidentiality

      1. Do not share HAVOCA posts outside the forum without the author’s consent. #
      2. Do not post another member’s personal or identifying information. #
      3. Do not share Private Messages without the consent of all parties. #
      4. Keep your login details private. #

   4. Misuse

      1. Do not attempt to break, exploit, or misuse the site. #
      2. No spamming or advertising. #
      3. No soliciting (including requests for money, services, or off‑site contact).
         
         This rule is not intended to prevent members from discussing personal involvement in charitable activities. However, posts that are primarily promotional, copy‑pasted from fundraising platforms, or repeated solicitations may be removed to protect the community. #

   5. Posting Behaviour

      1. Post in the correct forum section and stay on topic. #
      2. Do not hijack another member’s thread. #
      3. Do not revive threads inactive for more than one month unless you are the original poster or the topic is general. #
      4. Avoid excessive or unnecessary quoting. #
      5. No trigger warnings in thread titles. #
      6. You may delete a post for 15 minutes and edit for 60 minutes; after that, contact a moderator. #
      7. No surveys, research, school projects, or data‑gathering without Trustee approval and ethical clearance. #

   6. Moderator Interaction

      1. Moderator decisions are final. #
      2. Do not repeatedly ignore moderator guidance. #
      3. Keep your PM inbox clear so moderators can contact you. #

2. Community Guidelines

   1. Introduction/Etiquette:
      1. Welcome new members warmly; HAVOCA is often the first safe space someone has found.
      2. Save debates, disagreements, and complex discussions for the main forum rather than welcome threads.
      3. Assume good intent where possible — text lacks tone.
      4. For additional insight into online misunderstandings, see HAVOCA’s blog post on conflict in cyberspace.
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   2. Emotional Safety & Boundaries:
      1. Consider adding personal boundaries to your signature (e.g., “Please don’t use pet names with me”).
      2. Be mindful that members respond from different time zones and emotional states.
      3. If affectionate sign‑offs (e.g., “hugs”) feel uncomfortable, note this in your signature.
      4. Approach religion and politics gently and with awareness of others’ comfort levels.
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   3. Posting with Care:
      1. Before posting, pause and consider whether the content feels safe for you long‑term.
      2. Avoid sharing details that could identify you now or in the future.
      3. If unsure, save your draft and revisit it later.
      4. Use clear, descriptive thread titles.
      5. Keep quotes short to support readability.
      6. Images are welcome if used sensitively and within the rules.
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   4. Community Culture::
      1. Response times vary; a slow reply is not a reflection on you.
      2. If your post receives no replies, consider clarifying what support you’re seeking.
      3. Anyone can join HAVOCA — post with your own privacy and safety in mind.
      4. When joining a thread, try to support the original poster’s needs.
      5. Heated discussion is okay; escalation is not. Examples of escalation include:
         
         • shifting from “I disagree” to personal criticism
         • threatening to leave the thread or forum
         • repeatedly posting in anger
         • dismissing or invalidating others’ experiences
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   5. Supporting Others:
      1. Offer empathy rather than instruction — HAVOCA is peer support, not therapy.
      2. Avoid giving clinical or diagnostic advice.
      3. Validate feelings even when you can’t relate directly.
      4. Gentle curiosity can be more helpful than solutions.
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   6. Using the Forum Smoothly:
      • Keep your PM inbox tidy so you don’t miss important messages.
      • If unsure whether something is appropriate, ask a moderator.
      • Choose the forum section that best fits your topic — perfection isn’t required.
      • Start a new thread if a new topic emerges rather than redirecting an existing one.
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   7. Self‑Harm & Suicide Discussions:
      1. Feelings and past experiences are welcome on the main forum.
      2. Action‑based content belongs only in the Self Harm/Suicide Forum.
      3. You may request access to that space privately.
      4. If you are in immediate danger, reach out to a trusted person or local support service.
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   8. Tone, Language & Generalisations:
      • Use strong language intentionally, not reactively.
      • Write in a way that invites conversation.
      • When unsure about content:
      • Consider whether the post might make members of particular groups feel unwelcome.
      • Check whether claims presented as facts are accurate.
      • Think about whether the same point could be made without generalising about groups of people.
      • When in doubt, ask a moderator.
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