So you've met my Nan then? LOL That has her to a 't'. (Or perhaps 'tea' in her case - she could take it intravenously.)Basically what I'm trying to say, is that food could be used as a way for a parent to show their love for a child, I accept that perhaps this is wrong in the long-run but for some people it may be the only way they know how to express there love for that child!
Actually Nan knew there was Bad Stuff going on in her daughter's and granchildren's house, and she lived right next door. She never asked too many questions and for reasons of her own (which were based around some appalling behaviour by the Red Tops, the Police and other institutions when her sister was murdered - the mess and shame was terrible) she chose to try and keep a lid on things and cover up for fear of a repeat. Stupid, but understandable. I don't think she ever understood the full depth of what went on, but she never asked too many questions, either. She is therefore vaguely culpable, which I find hard. But she is also one of the few folk in my family I trust and and am happy to be with - and that sounds like love to me. So I will forgive, if regretfully.
Hey on a different note - there's a whole new stat in here just to put the fleabags amongst the pigeons. There's a reasonable correlation between teeangers who were physically abused and obesity in the UK. (Can find the c2001 report if you're really interested.)
Watching a programme on female ex-veterans who've struggled with PTSD after Iran and Iraq, I was struck by how every one of them now appears to struggle with their identity and their weight. Every one had put on about 2st+ (15kg, 28lb) or so and cited issues around relationships and body image. Not a scientific study but it really struck me.