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I come to realize about this when I was in my early teens. My parents made me go to a few different psychologists when I was a child untill I was 14 years old(the reason was that I got a lot bullied in school and didn't function well, since I struggled with focusing and doing my homeworks), as a child I didn't understand the point of going but when I was 14 I started opening up about my problems at home with my parents, and I remember I felt good talking about this. The psychologist I talked to thought it would be good to tell my parents about what I shared with her but I told her I didn't wanted them to know. She didn't tell them, and I think it made my parents suspicious or something like this? Because later on when I was 15 I told them I wanted to go again to a psychologist but then they refused letting me go, they said it wasn't going to help me and that if I needed someone to talk to that I could talk to them or to my little sister that was 11 years old back then. I didn't wanted to talk to them nor to my little sister that was just a child, so then I needed to deal with all of this on my own.
Though when I found out about growing up in an dysfunctional family I was much older, perhaps in my early 20s? Then later on I found out about my mother being a narcissistic, or she fits very well into many of the descriptions/symptoms shown with this. Also the way me and my siblings were treated.
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I haven't disclosed either but have recently considered it alot and feeling very emotional especially when seeing the news about the footballers who were abused.
I just don't know where to begin ?
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19 and I told my mother but she told me I was a liar. I'm sure she knew what was going on and she never protected me or my siblings.
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46. I was heavily threatened with death by my Dad from very young so actually learnt to forget and dissasociate. Only 'remembered' again aged 46. Crazy and sad but true.
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I didn't "disclose" until I was 23, sitting in a police interrogation room and they specifically asked me about specific instances. Even then, I gave a lot of half-answers. I think it's better to disclose if and when you're ready; that first time disclosing was so traumatic that it's made talking about t even harder. At least he was convicted.
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I put down 40-46 cause that's when I started getting memories back in T., and started telling a very few people.
But thinking about it, I've had memories of telling my mum daddy hurt me, and things like that, and her just ignoring it or worse. So I could have put <10 just as well, maybe....?
Happyhopes wrote: ↑Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:54 pm
I was heavily threatened with death by my Dad from very young so actually learnt to forget and dissasociate. Only 'remembered' again aged 46. Crazy and sad but true.
I've had memories of threats too, of lots of things - being strangled, drowned (both of these acted out), breaking up the family, my friends being hurt...
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This is a tricky question because of two parts, the abuse didn't really start out as abuse but arguments between my dad and I during my preteen years. I And it eventually morphed into verbal and physical abuse toward all of us within the family from my dad. My mom really tried to work everything out, have my dad and I sit down together with her, discuss and apologize to each other. Because of that the abuse wasn't truly considered it, my mom didn't consider it, I think I really didn't know what to think of it. I just knew I didn't like it, and I knew we deserved better. I even had an opportunity my senior year of high school to report my dad but I was too scared for my mom and my siblings at that point and still cared about my dad to go through with it. It was until I went away to college my freshman year and got a glimpse of some of the decisions I was making at 18 and the reasons why - partying, drinking, sleeping around, porn, etc. - all to cope with the pain of the abuse that I didn't want it to continue and I didn't want my siblings to go through similar or worse circumstances. At 19, I had this conversation with my mom either we all leave dad or I leave and take the kids.
Fast forward 14 years later, we are all in much better situations, still have effects from it all but definitely in a better safer place.
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I told my best friend when I was 13 and the next week we got in an argument and she told my whole school what I shared with her. Just prior to telling her, I got brave and told my step dad that what he was doing was wrong and that I wasn't going to take it anymore. I believe her telling everyone at school solidified that he had to stop and he did thankfully. My mother never did anything about what the school told her and back then they didn't force the issue. It wasn't until I was 28 that I would address getting help for the effects of the sexual abuse and I'm still learning how to overcome those effects today at 46. I'm grateful for how far I've come and I'm finally learning how to enjoy the journey.
Hey there, my name is Raelene and my motto is..."No More Stinkin' Thinkin'!" I am worthy, I am valued, I am treasured, I am beautiful!! And so are YOU!!!
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I tried to tell my mother when I was only 3 years old. I used four distinct words that should have told her exactly what happened. Instead my mother told me to stop that baby talk. I never attempted to tell her again, but I used the words as a way to bug her because it got a reaction.
If you don't know what to say: Hugs or "I'm reading and listening" or something similar are great. Thanks.
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My Healing Journey: https://www.havoca.org/forums/viewtopic ... 22&t=42400
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Just want to say I'm really proud to be on same results board as ppl who managed to disclose at such a young age. That took some metal. (Mine wasn't out till age 40)
Courage - whenever you managed it, even if not.
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My disclosure was my big mistake. Sorry to anyone that has already read this elsewhere on the site.
I disclosed at aged 6 and then got abused by the person I had disclosed to (my bloody dad).
My next disclosure ( in a face to face situation) was around a month ago, at aged 58.
I have hidden my secrets and demons really well.
What a prat I have been!
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GOOD EVENING ALL.
I disclosed at the age of 6 and then somehow lost all conscious memory of it until the age of 40. Redisclosed and life moving forward.