Poll - Self Harm

[Jamie]

Have you ever self harmed?

[Sigma]

- actually able to write yes but not anymore !

Not since the 18th of September - so only 20 days - but it's the best I have managed in a long time.

x

[NIgirl]

No 'onlys' Sig - tis masso achievement!

Well done to you!

X

[Urban Rose]

Yay Sigma!!! Drop the "only" it is a fantastic achievemnet.

Rose

[jml]

I've been able to answer yes but not not any more - it's been since the 7th September and my move into sheltered housing.

[Baby Noor]

Not for twenty years.

The reason still haunts me. I was angry with myself because I did not have enough money to the pay the rent. I wish the small scars would go away. I think violent self harm is about rage. It's a terrible terrible anger that has nothing to do with releasing energy truth it is just a savage. And I do not believe it is my rage in a way I believe it was the rage created in me. That does not mean I do not own it I do but I do not accept it as part of my true self.

I still cry for what I did to myself I am so sorry.

[hunny]

yes I do self harm , maybe not in the way others think but I constantly berate myself, Have an inner critical part that mimics my mother that is continually using emotional blackmail and nasty comments , .....I also epilate underarms and legs ....a safe but very sadistic form of self harm , I also gouge out my skin , keep scratching away , until it bleeds ..this is a safety mechanism all about control for me , If I feel as though I have no control or things are getting out of hand , then This behaviour starts up , It is comforting in that it is real pain , and if there is blood it is legitimate pain , it makes sense of the emotional pain ,....gives it a physical presence and makes it easier to comprehend than the internal invisible emotional pain , ....
None of my self harm methods are terminal or serious enough to cause others to worry , and until recently I did not realise they were self harm until i read an article on classic coping and the use of self harm techniques .
For me its stress anxiety and also related to the lack of control growing up , sad but true , and actually quite hard for me to admit ..
Hunny xx

[Liz]

I self harm too. Though i wouldnt have called it that initially.

Over eating - comfort eating. Done to provide comfort - but harming myself physically esp.

I pick my skin. Sounds revolting. So wounds scabbing over don't stand much of a chance of healing - because i'll then pick them and pick them again. And i pick the skin around my fingers - did it really badly last week and it really hurt! So my hands aren't the prettiest to look at. Or i'll pick at my feet. Sounds gross. Sometimes it is about the need to hurt myself. Have always done it so i don;'t know and i'm not sure i could ever take it to T. Hard enough writing it here.

x

[Baby Noor]

Since the definition of self harm is bigger I would like to include impatience. A minor medical problem has recently forced me to slow down; and I can now feel the violence in impatience.

Noor
x

[Devonlass75]

drinking.... I drank until i forgot... then drank again.....

so i put don't know as there's no outward scars or anything....

DL75

[Rachelle]

Yes I do self harm. I used to cut myself but haven't since my daughter was born, so not for nearly 18 years now! I pick my fingers and my feet, sorry I know how gross that is. I'm mentally very cruel to myself. My therapy will be starting soon so I am hopeful these things will improve in time.

[Applepies]

I pick my skin because I was told my body was not normal and felt like an outcast. particularly worse when I am anxious. it is not that severe though and I can control it.

[Tiontu]

Ive never self harmed, but I drank. I would drink until I passed out and during the really bad years i would start again with my hidden bottle of vodka at breakfast if I wasn’t at work that day.

I think I’m traumatised by memories of this too now. Like with the abuse I was blunted and in denial about how damaging it was, but looking back I can see it was really hideous and really scary just how out of control i felt. Sometimes I was desperate to stop drinking but I couldn’t. For me I’m not sure it was self harm. It was about escape, but also I guess about a complete lack of self worth that allowed me to do that to my body and my life for such a long time. It was having kids that helped me stop. They were too important and needed me and it gave me the strength to stop.

[JoFW]

I used to cut myself but when I stopped assumed i had stopped self harming. I hadn’t. I had simply found new ways. Like others I pick at my fingers until they bleed. I pick at scabs. I drink and my relationship with food is used as a form of self harm. And weighing myself all the time - knowing wha I see will break me.

Also I’ve run ultra marathons - 50+ miles in one go. My therapist pointed out this was a form of self harm as I push my self to my absolute limits and end up broken.