HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

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jessie1411
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by jessie1411 »

I think that's a really good idea Jules and I'm sure that would work well.
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Wavingnotdrowning »

Jules' idea sounds great!
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by zepto »

I also can see the point of a pin that doesn't match our usernames on here -it doesn't necessarily have to have no name I think, just different.

Personally, I have periods of time where I get concerned (mostly irrationally) that I can be found or traced based on what I post or say, by people from my past or even people I know now, and having a location listed may make it easier for that to happen.

More generally I notice the majority of members don't list their location in their member details, which suggests there may be reasons for that, albeit different to mine.

Just adding my thoughts too...
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Northern »

zepto wrote:I have periods of time where I get concerned (mostly irrationally) that I can be found or traced .
Me to.

But if I get twitchy, could always ask Jamie to randomly move my pin around. If you see me moving to Iceland, you know why :)
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by jessie1411 »

Lol....
That's another idea Jules. :mrgreen:

I'm feeling a little exposed, even though I don't use my real name here.
I really like the idea of the map though, to have that available access to other members who just get it, understand this difficult journey, is a great resource.
That's why maybe just pins would work, and proceed with Jules original idea of asking if a person wants to get in touch.
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by NinaEllie »

I'd be far more likely to think about Jules' idea than having a pin with a name on it.
Top job Jules. Cracking idea!
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Jamie »

Back to the 'no name' theme - if you follow the logic, why wouldn't you just put a message up on here saying 'anyone members in Glasgow fancy meeting up?' - no need for a pin at all.

By being prepared to put your pin in with your username shows members you are genuine and not just some 'pretender'. To some members the idea of an unnamed pin close to them might be suspicious.

And back to my original point, if you want to look to see who is around you, then just use the map to search your location - no need for a pin at all.
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by NinaEllie »

Jamie wrote:By being prepared to put your pin in with your username shows members you are genuine and not just some 'pretender'. To some members the idea of an unnamed pin close to them might be suspicious.
I've no wish to cause problems but I personally take serious issue with this.

Personally "I" will not put my pin in with my username (I've chose to do neither but now will never do so); because I am estranged from my family, I've an ongoing legal process with a family member and I don't wish to make it easier for them to find me. I also came here for the relative anonymity the internet and a website such as this can allow a person to have because I do not feel comfortable talking about this with people who know me and more to the point, burdening them with something they may have no knowlege of and even less idea how to deal with. I came here for the support and understanding other victims can give.

I'm sorry if that makes me appear fake to other members.
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Jamie »

Thats great, the list is really growing and we have our first member in Canada. It would be good to get some members in Europe too.

It will also be really great when people start meeting up and sharing their stories.

How long ago was it that everyone met up in the park? Is anyone still a member here that went along?
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Sigma »

I didn't go ... But have met up with a few from Havoca ... We have weekends together a few of us. Old members now, who don't really come on.

But I think another meet up would be great :)
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Sigma »

You can pin me in Leicester ... East mid is looking sparse :wink:
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Sigma »

I'm not sure if I see a problem with a pin and no name per se ... I think the importance of being completely anonymous is important, I know for me, especially during a court case, paranoia was high. Legally you're told to be careful, anything written is up for the legal team to have access to, journals included, as would writings here.

I quickly realised this and decided to keep things to myself, but the fact remains it's paranoia inducing. So I can see how it's a scary prospect .... For people to pin themselves in location. I think as time goes on, the more therapy and healing or whatever it's called, happens, the less paranoid I've become.

A definite correlation between self accepting and the reduction in secrecy ... If that makes sense. It's a journey after all, and maybe it takes time to move beyond that initial fear of being found etc. The no name pin may be an equal stepping stone on that path. Maybe ...

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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Northern »

Could we do both? Names for those ok with it, and pins for those who aren't ready/able/comfortable with named pins?
As Sig says, we can cope with different things at different times.
I'm up for a trip to the park, but preferably somewhere in England. Too much bloody rain up here to make it viable.
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Jamie »

Can someone just explain to me in simple terms how the pin with no name would work. Let's suppose we get hundreds of pins on the map (in the future), and I look at Bristol. Near Bristol there are three pins, one pin has no name. How do I contact that person to meet up for coffee?
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Re: HAVOCA Survivors Network Map

Post by Northern »

If it was me, I would post in general chit chat saying I'm going to be in Bristol and wondered if any of the Bristol pins wanted to catch up. If so drop me a PM.
Then if the anonymous person felt comfortable they could get in touch. They would have to trust that I wouldn't reveal they were a Bristol pin.

In truth some of the risk sits with the person posting the request. They don't know if that pin is someone they would want to meet. But I guess its degrees of comfort. Some are ok with a name, some will be ok with posting, some will find the prospect terrifying but would maybe dearly love to meet fellow survivors.

Like anything new, it's a case of trial and error. But I appreciate that what's driving your thoughts is our safety. I don't fancy the idea of nameless people fishing. But having had the benefit of meeting another member in person, the reward outweighs the risk for me.

Sorry if we're doing your head in with this Jamie, I am massively grateful for everything you do. This site changes lives.
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