I guess I’m not that Strong

I guess I’m not that stronghouse by the sea

Let me paint a picture, of a house beside the sea
Where there’s smiles and laughter and happiness, a proper family
It was never quite like this though, not even in my dreams
It was always me against you all, always different teams.

I’ve been so many places, seen so many things
I’ve learnt to be happy, and truly spread my wings
I cannot say that I didn’t look back, wanted something more
I waited for the waves to calm, and for a calmer shore

Now you’re stood in front of me, I’m looking in your eyes
I wait with nervous energy, I won’t tolerate your lies
Will you have the answers? Will you help me understand?
Bound together by blood, but will you reach for my hand?

I’ve imagined this moment, for oh so many years
They say that time should fix it, but it hasn’t done for me
I’ve seen this moment played over, watched it in my mind
I didn’t know where you were, but I somehow managed to find

I’ve known what I wanted to say to you, all the words were clear
Now I’m stood here right in front of you, no words become clear
I’m standing where I could reach you, but I’m not here at all
Distance has been shortened, but you don’t know me at all

I don’t know whether to laugh, or whether I should cry
Or scream and shout or hug you, or turn and run away
I’ve wanted this for so long, close to twenty years
Guess that means I’m pretty strong, facing all my fears

Somehow everything was broken, everything felt so wrong
I wanted to give you the chance to tell me, what you think went wrong
Now I guess I don’t care, for me it’s been too long
I don’t know if I could hear it anyway, I guess I’m not that strong

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About Tanya Evans

I'm a self employed private tutor in Maths (and English) with learners ranging from 4 to 24 currently. I am a mother of three with a serious gym addiction and a massive need to write (since embarking on a healing journey).

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