Do I have a problem?
Co-dependency is a condition that it is difficult to find one common definition of. Earnie Larsen a specialist in this field describes co-dependency as “Those self defeating, learned behaviours or character defects that result in a diminished capacity to initiate or participate in loving relationships, whilst Melody Beattie, author of Co-dependent No More, says “A co-dependent person is one who has let another persons behaviour affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that persons behaviour.”
Do you put other people’s wants and needs before your own?
Do you value other peoples approval of your thinking, feeling, or behaviour over your own?
Do you change or ignore your own values in order to maintain a relationship.
Do you feel overly responsible, or assume responsibility for someone else’s feelings or behaviours.
Do you worry about how other people may respond to your feelings
Do you focus your attention on protecting other people
Do you anticipate other peoples needs and desires, meeting them before they are asked to be met.
Do you feel good about yourself only when helping others
Is your self esteem bolstered only by other people
Does fear about someone else’s feelings determine what you say or do
Do other peoples behaviours and attitudes tend to determine your behaviour
Do you value other peoples opinion more highly than your own.