When you were abused as a child you locked away all of your emotions and feelings. This may have led to a low self esteem and a general distrust of those close to you. You almost certainly didn’t learn healthy ways of showing your anger, hurt, frustration, and conflict that arise in any normal relationship. In fact you may have learned first hand that violence was an answer to many problems, and although rationally you can see this isn’t viable, you may have a deep down problem that only surfaces during periods of tension or stress.
To stop this violence and ultimately prevent the cycle of abuse from continuing you need to control the abusive behaviour. You now how devastating the abuse can be when it is done by someone you trust. So you need to deal with the feelings and emotions that have been left uncovered inside for so long. By doing this you can motivate yourself to break the cycle not only for yourself but for society as a whole.
Experts in the field of chemical dependency say that alcohol affects at least four other people. If we relate that to violence, we can say that violent behaviour not only affects the person but it also affects four other people around the perpetrator.
Ultimately if a Man abuses his Wife she may turn around and abuse their children out of pure frustration. If the Man abuses his kids they may grow up to become child or spouse abusers – can you afford not to deal with it?