Frequently we find entry onto the triangle through the port of denied feelings. Whenever we deny our own or another’s feelings we inevitably end up playing a role on the triangle. We rescue others anytime we attempt to keep them from feeling bad. (“I can’t tell Jim what I think because it’ll hurt his feelings”). So we keep our opinions, feelings and thoughts secret which inevitably creates distance.
Parents who grew up without permission to acknowledge or express feelings often deny their children the same right. Repressed, these denied emotions become secret shame pockets, alienating us from others and sentencing us to life on the triangle. Feelings may be intangible, but they are nonetheless real.
Anytime we deny access to our feeling experience we set ourselves up for a victim perspective. We cannot take responsibility for feelings we have not allowed ourselves to acknowledge, therefore we end up on the triangle.