As an adult….

When a child finally reaches, by chronological definition, an adult stage of life and acquires full realisation of the abuse to which he/she has been subjected, breaking the web is not the simple decision that others might assume. Often, the survivor will decide to leave the situation without disclosing her suffering to those near and dear to them – they simply want the abuse to stop. But surviving without the abuser brings its own problems. Leaving behind the abuse often means leaving behind everything else that a human-being needs to survive. … companionship, familiarity, security, a sense of belonging are all fundamental to human survival, and loneliness can make the guilt and shame more painful to bear. Should the survivor decide to disclose all that they have suffered, then of course they take the risk that the threats from childhood will come true; they may indeed lose the love, affection and protection of all those near and dear to them, who so often will disbelieve – or even blame – the survivor rather than accept the consequences of believing the truth about a partner or parent.