We receive a lot of emails about relationships. It seems that a lot of us suffer from difficulties in some aspects of our lives whilst forming or maintaining partnerships with other people.

It stands to reason that abused children have had their ideals shattered by the betrayal of trust one or more human beings have already shown them. Therefore forming trusting, fulfilling relationships will be difficult for the survivor of childhood abuse right through their adult lives.

This section helps survivors, victims and partners to piece together information and exercises in order to build or improve long term relationships.

We have built this section on standard advice given to couples who are experiencing difficulties in their relationships. All the information was found in the public domain and was easily accessible. We have then added our own thoughts and given the information a slant towards how childhood abuse effected the issue (this can be found added to the text in blue typing). In this way you can learn more about maintaining and forming relationships and at the same time understand how the abuse has affected them.

2 Responses to Relationships

  1. Kristen says:

    I was raped at age 15, this rape took my virginity and shaped my future sexuality. I engaged in risky and degrating sexual behaviors ever since.
    I am in a relationship with a man now who truly, deeply loves me and I cannot have sex with him even though I find everything about him sexy and safe. help me!! How do I form a normal and healthy relationship with sex?

    • HAVOCA says:

      I’m sorry to hear of your situation. Sadly its quite a common reaction. There are many ways to start tackling this issue but two paths stand out. Firstly you can try and ignore the underlying reason behind the issue and re-train your brain, using CBT, to re-tune your sexual behaviour. The second path would be to park that particular singular issue and deal with your abusive past in its entirety through counselling. The latter option would probably be the long lasting and rewarding journey but it would also be the hardest. Which path suits you? Only you can answer that. What are your thoughts?

Leave a comment - please note HAVOCA does not provide direct support via these comments. If you would like support please use our contact form or forums. Please use a name you are comfortable sharing online.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.