Exercise – Deepening your Relationships

These are just some random thoughts and activities to help deepen your relationship. Don’t try to do all of them at once. Take just one or two that you think would be the most beneficial to the two of you!

** Think of a behaviour you each have that other people like or praise. Ask yourselves why you do this. Share with one another your feelings as you think about this behaviour.

** Tape record about an hour’s worth of being with one another – at the dinner table, in the evening when the TV is on, in the morning as you are getting ready for the day. Listen to it together a few days later. Share withh one another how hearing this tape makes you feel?

** Work really hard at not interrupting one another. Try not to add your opinion until she/he is completely finished with what they have to say.

** This weekend, try to not ask your spouse to bring you something, get you something, find something for you, or serve you something. Instead, offer these services to your spouse. How does their reaction make you feel?

** Be honest with yourselves, and write down some ways in which you manage to instill guilt in your spouse. Try for one week not to use these manipulative behaviours.

** Watch an old movie together, or listen to some favorite music together. Talk about why the movie or music touches your heart.

** Go to the library together and select a book to read together.

** Think about your past 10 years. Select two or three periods of time when you were really happy or when things seemed to be going right for you. These are the moments when you are really glad to be alive. Talk with one another about what made that period of time so enjoyable. How does this reflection on your past make you feel?

** If money were not a problem or a consideration, what would the two of you be doing now or how would you be living your lives? Compare this to how you are living now. How does the comparison make you feel?

** If possible, return to your childhood towns – either physically or mentally. Look for the streets you walked, the homes you lived in, the schools you attended, the playgrounds you played on. Share with one another your memories.

** Make some time for the two of you. Find a way to free up an afternoon or an evening where you won’t be disturbed by phone calls, children, friends, work, school, etc.

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