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Increasing Trust in your Relationship
- Make a decision to love by trying to let go of the past. Stop obsessing about it.
- Decide to forgive or to be forgiven.
- Show that the errant behaviour is gone by changing behaviours. That means no more secrets.
- Together, set specific goals.
- Both of you must renew your commitment to your marriage and one another.
- The wounded spouse must share their pain. The other must acknowledge the hurt caused by the devastating experience.
- Listen completely to one another and with your heart, not just your head.
- Be honest.
- Avoid using words that can trigger conflict. Use non-blaming ‘I’ statements and don’t say always, must, never, or should.
- Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions.
- Be open to seeking counseling to have a better insight into what caused the trust to be broken.
- Remind one another that you each deserve open and honest answers to your questions about the affair or betrayal.
- Recognize that rebuilding trust takes time. It won’t happen over night.
- It’s ok to remember the incidents and the betrayal. You may not forget it, but the pain will eventually go away.
- Be aware of your feelings.