My self-destruct button and I

My self-destruct button and I Origin of self harming behaviour I have always had an “all or nothing” type nature and a bit of a competitive streak. I’m not sure if this originates, from simply having siblings, or whether this is an inherent feature. (Is it because of nature or … Continue reading

What has therapy been about for me?

What has therapy been about for me? What I wanted to get out of therapy My therapist asked me what I wanted to get out of our sessions in week one, but I left without telling her what I really wanted to gain from our time together. I was so … Continue reading

My Story

My Story I am an adult survivor of child abuse. I was also relentlessly bullied because I was different because I was ADHD. Nobody bothered to understand why I acted out after the relentless abuse was allowed to continue. I was punished for the choices I made out of fear … Continue reading

Parenting – The struggle of raising children after abuse

Parenting – The struggle of raising children after abuse There is no getting away from the shame I feel for making my next statement, but having children completely and utterly messed my head up, even more than it was already. For as long as I can remember, I knew that … Continue reading

Flowing Through Emotion Pain & PTSD

Flowing Through Emotion Pain & PTSD by Amber DeAnn I disagree with common advice given to PTSD survivors to relive the scene. Some can’t do that. When you are in the midst of a traumatic attack, you can’t think through it or give yourself affirmations, or tell your body to … Continue reading

Dealing with Life

Dealing with Life by Amber DeAnn I sit, trying to be physically and mentally still. The world’s noise and chaos assaults me like a Samaurai warrior—big, bold, strong, relentless, persecuting. I’m ready. I inhale, hold the breath to retreat into the invisible, exhale to feel my new strength, inhale, hold, … Continue reading

Blink of an Eye

Blink of an Eye Life changes in the blink of an eye. Everything that happens affects us and becomes a part of who we are. A roller-coaster ride ensues with every turn leading us in a new direction. Dips and curves cause our hearts to race as adrenaline flows through … Continue reading

Trust

Trust by Alexis Donkin Trust is hard for someone who has suffered abuse. Typically the abusive person is someone close – a family member, lover, or friend. This heightens feelings of betrayal. How could a person do this? How could they hurt me? If this person could do this, then … Continue reading

They Can’t Touch Him Now by James Williamson

They Can’t Touch Him Now by James Williamson My original concerns about writing my autobiography THEY CAN’T TOUCH HIM NOW was revealing secrets, secrets that had been locked away in my mind for so many years. I am convinced that even a truth serum would not have made me give … Continue reading